My number one goal for this summer has nothing to do with being a teacher and everything to do with being a mom: Potty. Train. This. Child. Of. Mine. Put a City Girls period on it.
At this point, anything else is gravy and honestly I eat my potatoes without it.
I am fortunate enough that I don’t have to work during the summer. I choose the 12 month pay option, we don’t do “big vacations”, and I don’t have large debts to repay so while teacher pay still isn’t the greatest I do get to enjoy the perk of having two months “off.” With a 3 year old, that means that I turn my mom all the way “on” in ways that I haven’t during the school year.
Mom guilt is real and it has been strong as I see areas where my baby is behind. While I know kids develop and do things at their own pace, I can’t help but notice that my baby (a teacher’s son nonetheless) does not have the same speech as his peers, has almost no interest in potty training, and botches up the ABCs like its a full fledged remix. I try to tell myself it’s all okay but really I wonder if things would be this way if I didn’t have lesson plans and grades to do at home and if mentally I wasn’t drained like a bathtub when I arrive home from work… if my presence was fully present. I wonder.
In the summer, I get to see. I put the “what ifs” to the side and simple be…his mom.
For a short while the mom guilt is gone.
If I’m not careful though, teacher guilt can skyrocket as I browse the internet and see teachers participating in all kinds of PD, book studies, planning, and all the other things that are just not me.
I vow now not to feel guilty.
…and that’s not to say I am doing nothing, it’s just that Edu isn’t my summer priority. I will likely read a book or two that’s somewhat related to Edu on one of my millionteenth trips to the potty with my son and mayyybe while lounging in the sun…but that’s the extent of it.
Early August I will gear up like a classic Lil Jon song and turn down for what but for now I am embracing these upcoming weeks where I put away my teacher hat for bit…and I bet I’ll be better for it.