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Debunking Myths: Teachers Must Have Bladders of Steel

Every year after an extended holiday or vacation the internet is flooded with memes about teachers not having time to pee. Many teachers also post about it like it’s a joke but no one is actually joking about it. I mean, who can pee when you are in charge of 20 kids, right? So, haha… guess I gotta get used to holding it all day again or I can’t drink anything because I can’t use the restroom until 3:00 *giggle*…ummm no.

For many, this has become a reality that is all but funny. I mean, nothing is hilarious about a kidney stone or a UTI.

Using the restroom is a basic human need, not a luxury reserved for weekends and vacations. This is why I never appreciated any of the jokes or memes…it normalizes the martyrization that plagues the field. It makes new teachers or new-to-a-school teachers feel like there is no other option. It ultimately creates easily preventable health issues.

So, what can be done?

Honestly, there are quite a number of solutions and if you are a new teacher you should not feel bad about utilizing any one of them:

1. Have the teacher next door watch your class. They can stand between both rooms and keep their eyes in both classes.

2. Line your class up and take them to the restroom with you.

3. Take your whole class on a restroom break. Use the bathroom with them.

4. Use the restroom during lunch or recess when multiple teachers are present. Ask a colleague to watch your class when you step out.

5. If all else fails, call the office and ask for coverage. I never did this to use the restroom, but I have back when I was a nursing mother and needed to pump…yes, you can pump to feed your infant and be a teacher. Blog post to come on that later.

I am sure there are other solutions out there, you have to do what works best for you and your work environment. Bottom line is that there are solutions. You can pee. It will be okay.

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My Fall Down the Ed-Tech Rabbit Hole

Much like Alice, I have a way of falling down rabbit holes. Sometimes I even jump. “We’re all mad here.” Not I. Well, maybe actually I.

Several years ago my school became 1:1. We went from a computer lab and a traveling cart to an iPad or chromebook for every student, k-5. It was amazing and wow, how grateful I felt to be part of such tech-fortune!

As a teacher, I tend not to shy away from change. Technology does not scare me and anything new or unconventional is like Smuckers to me, my jam. So when a shiny cart of 20-something iPads came rolling my way I read a few articles, followed a few hashtags, and I was ready. Both feet in, bells on, let’s go.

I explored a variety of apps to supplement instruction. Apps to use while teaching, blogs for writing, eportfolios, ebooks, emanipulatives, e-everything and programs. All the programs. Programs that claimed they were differentiated, check that box off on my eval. All the problems in the classroom had answers now.

“How do you know I’m mad?…”

“You must be…or you wouldn’t have come here.”

Eventually I realized my students were on a device for some purpose all day long.

All. Day. Long.

I tend to emphasize extremes but this isn’t too far from reality When you start counting minutes and those minutes turn to hours and hours in elementary is pretty much all day.

A supplement meant to enhance became it. All day everyday. The main event. It didn’t happen overnight but it might have happened overnight.

When I go, I go hard. It’s a side-effect of a rather extreme personality.

What followed was general mediocrity. To be fair, the world did not end and my kids did not turn into zombies. My first grade and later second grade test scores did not tank although full disclosure, with how k-2 was tested they would have scored fine either way.

Technology did come at a price. It seemed that overall focus diminished. Handwriting diminished. Collaboration diminished. Spelling diminished. Conversation diminished. Everything diminished.

We had a program for that though. Phonics, vocabulary, comprehension, spelling, math, even handwriting and things to improve focus. We had a program for everything…well everything except conversation…but blogging is the same thing, right?

It took me some time and experience with my own kid more on that later) to see how very wrong I was.

As far as alllll the programs, I didn’t see any significant real life applicable progress on any of them (sure they may have advanced within the program but real life application not so much).

In fact the students did those programs when they weren’t face to face with teacher during small group time and many weren’t doing anything but mindlessly clicking along. In some cases, they were multi-tabbing and sneaking onto other sites. Coolmath and minecraft and YouTube. It took me awhile to catch on to that one but truth is they probably weren’t missing out on much by not doing those programs. Either way, I found myself down another rabbit hole within the rabbit hole.

I mentioned above that the world wasn’t ending…but I did do some damage. It was especially harmful for my ELLs and kids with attention issues.

It seemed like everytime I started to question myself, I looked up a new article or hashtag and recommitted myself to the rabbit hole I so happily had fallen into. Because there’s an article for everything.

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.

Here’sthe more later part…

When my son was 2 (almost 3), my parents bought him a tablet for Christmas. When he had this tablet, I noticed his personality changed. He was quiet, less active, more irritable, less creative, and overall less cool of a person. I am not exaggerating.

My son never had a ton of tantrums and he more often than not is joy to be around (yeah, all parents say this but it really is true). The second the tablet came out none of that was true. His biggest tantrums occurred when it was time to put that piece of technology away or when the battery ran out. He was obsessed…I often wondered whose kid he was.

This led me to more critical research on technology for little guys and to be honest, there isn’t much good that comes with it. Article after article, Google search after Google search.

This revelation I had with my own child raised a lot of red flags with what I am doing in my classroom. Obviously a 3 year old is at different place developmentally than a 7 or 8 year old. But still. Developmentally no 7 year old should be on a device as much as my students were on one, even for the coolest most cutting edge educational purposes.

Again, “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

I am still navigating that. I am climbing out of the rabbit hole I wasonce so happily in.

As extreme as I tend to be, I don’t think it has to be either/or. I find a lot of value in many educational tech tools. Whole group lessons have transformed for me with interactive presentations like Nearpod, my kids can create and show off work with apps like seesaw, and their selection of reading material has multiplied exponentially with ebooks.

That said, programs are mostly mindless and the only ones I put my kids on now are those that my district requires. I’ll ask my kids to read real books made from paper, write with pencils, and use real manipulatives.

There are a ton of edtech tools out there. Many are amazing and great. I found that there simply is not room to use them all. I pick and choose just a few and run with that. I stopped worrying about missing the next greatest thing…because the greatest thing doesn’t involve wifi.

“Everything’s got a moral, if only you can find it.”

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“The Human in Me”

1, 2, 3, 4…

I don’t like field trips.

5, 6, 7, 8…

Not at all.

9, 10, 11, 12…

Many people find this surprising. Typically I hear many teachers say that they love a good field trip, it seems they even thrive off of them. I also tend to be a bit “extra” in most areas so field trips would seemingly be my thing.

13, 14, 15, 16.

But they aren’t.

1, 2, 3, 4…

Don’t get me wrong, I still dress the part. I’m not talking jeans and school t-shirt either. I pull a full-on Frizzle; school themed dress, pencil shoes, and/or accessories galore. I wore a princess-style tutu dress to “The Nutcracker” one year and antennae to the zoo another. When I say I am extra, I mean it.

5, 6, 7, 8…

But that doesn’t mean I like it.

9, 10, 11, 12…

“Fake it ’till I make it” became my game. I believe whole heartedly kids deserve a great school experience and field trips are just one of those things that’s part of that experience so I suck it up, smile,and deal because this isn’t about me but…

13, 14, 15, 16.

So. Much. Counting.

That’s all I do on field trips. I count and recount all my students. Over and over like a Florida election and everybody’s named Chad.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…

Anxiety through the roof. Is everyone still here? No one is about to wander off, right? No Boogeyman? Who’s that man, does he work here? Where is the nearest exit? Where are safe hiding spots? What is next? Is it time to go yet? What time is it? Let’s count heads again, just to be sure…7, 8, 9…

Why can’t I just chill and enjoy the moment?

Smile.

10, 11…

My mind is always racing.

I lost count, let me start again.

“Line up ya’ll, get still for a sec.”

1, 2, 3, 4…

Smile. Take a selfie. I can enjoy the moment later.

5, 6, 7, 8…

So. Much. Counting.

9, 10…

It’s okay. They all are having fun.

11, 12, 13, 14…

I am faking it.

15 and 16.

…and I made it.

After the longest five hours imaginable, I made it through the first field trip of the year today. When I say I am “extra,” I mean it. Sometimes a certain level of over the top can be amazing. Other times it is an amazing burden.

This is my reality.

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Consent

Sometimes you have to stop teaching so you can teach.

A couple weeks ago, things got really real on the playground. A group of kids approached me, huddled around a sweet little boy named Christiano who was sniffling back tears. This child is usually quite happy, I had never seen him any shade of blue so I knew it was serious. Everyone around him started talking at once before I could even ask what happened

“BDLAJJEOWVAKksldbxuehdJsvwix!” Yeah it sounded just like that.

“Okay…wait. Hold up. Christiano. Just you. What happened?”

Tears. He couldn’t hold them back. In between the tears he told me kids were grabbing him and not letting him leave the wooded part of the playground.

Who would mess with Christiano like that? My sweet Christiano who is a friend to all. Oh heck naw…Not today.

There were several classes out and it was time to line up. Good. Easier to figure out who was involved.

“Show me who,” I said as calmly as I could. I felt like the teacher version of mama bear…no one was going to mess with one of my kids. My heart was huffing, my lungs were puffing. I wanted to blow the whole playground down.

As all the classes were lining up, I was waiting to see whose class the perpetrators came from.

Christiano sputtered, “It was James and Jose and Julian.”

What? My heart sank. He listed kids from our class. Infinity. That didn’t seem right. I had been most certain it was someone else from another class…someone I didn’t know. Not one of us. I wanted to huff harder and I wanted to puff harder and I wanted to not only tear this playground down but all the playgrounds. All of them. Butsomething inside told me to breathe deep instead.

Without another word I took my class inside and we all sat down. In a circle.

What happened?

We passed around our talking piece. I didn’t say a word.

It turns out that all four boys were playing cops and robbers (yeah, I know…). Christiano got tired of the game and decided to leave to play with another group and the boys who were cops though he was escaping and grabbed him. This scared Christiano. Other kids saw and brought him over to me. They all felt all the feelings.

Julian said he thought they were still playing. Jose thought since they were playing that way the whole time it was okay to keep on playing. James didn’t realize until just now that something was wrong.

Around this point is when I stepped in and talked a bit about how sometimes someone may want to play something then later they change their mind and that’s okay. We talked about signs that someone may not want to play something anymore even if they don’t say it with words. A game is supposed to be fun and as soon as someone isn’t having fun the game needs to stop. They understood. They all could relate.

James, Julian, and Jose each apologized and Christiano accepted. James said he felt really bad that Christiano got so upset. Jose wanted to do something to make Christiano feel better.They all did. Again, without me saying or suggesting a thing, they all made him cards.

By the end of the day, the four boys were inseparable. With just minimal adult interference they made things right.

Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t huff, puff, and blow the whole playground down. I’m glad I gave them a time and space to handle it. I see that more conversations on consent and what that is and isn’t needs to happen proactively. I’m also incredibly thankful I get to be their teacher and that I got to witness the entire situation because it let’s me know…the kids are alright.

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I don’t know who needs to hear this…

…but I think a whole lot of people may need to hear this.

Teaching is hard and it doesn’t get easier as time goes on. There are certainly periods of joy, bliss, and educational rainbows and butterfllies. There are also dark clouds, slumps, and even full blown tropical depressions.

Sometimes you teach and the results show in the form of data color coded green and blue. Other times the results are Rick Ross ROSAY and that leaves you questioning your effectiveness as an educator, no matter how much you agree that the test, for lack of better words, suck.

There’s also times when lessons flop, kids aren’t engaged, an observation/evaluation goes bad, you failed to submit paperwork on time, you get the side-eye from a parent, administrator, or co-worker, and etcetera and etera…Those times feel extra hard. And that’s okay. It happens to everyone.

It happens to everyone.

You are not a failure. You are still probably a good teacher. Your greatness is still there. You probably don’t need to change professions. This too, shall pass. It usually always does.

Slumps happen to everyone and there will always be rainy seasons.

I have taught for 12 years now. I am an expert in absolutely nothing (except perhaps survival), but I have experienced the many seasons of an educator. Throughout the years I have felt incredible highs, the lowest of the lows, and everything in between. During the lows, I have created monster dot com profiles,contemplated waiting tables,and researched going back to school…but something always pulled me back. Whether that be the pull of my heart strings, perfect timing of a remark from a kid or an affirmation from an admin or colleague, I have never (so far) been compelled to actually take the plunge and leave.

I have weathered quite a lot of storms in my 12 years (btw those storms come even after years 1, 2, and 3) and something I have learned is that these storms don’t last forever. Sometimes they last a day, sometimes days, and sometimes even weeks. Occasionally those weeks have turned into months…but, hear me out, they always get better. I never had to live in a storm forever.

I find that during my stormy seasons it helps to hyper focus on what I can control and force everything else out of my mind. I always have to slow down during these times and remember the things that are in my control and the things that are not. There is certainly a time and a place to fight the good fight to turn all the wrongs to right but for me, stormy seasons aren’t that time for me.

Self care is also critical and strategically placed mental health days help. No guilt if I need a day to Netflix and chill…

As far as daily teaching during the stormy weather (or even when trying to prevent), sometimes I have to just stick to the basics and save extras for times when my energy is better. That way I can go home. It’s okay to skip a room transformation or a whole experience situation to prevent exhaustion. It’s okay if the objective isn’t pre written all pretty on the board or if that anchor chart is a mess or…gasp…non existent. It will be okay and no one is a bad teacher because of it.

Personally I also plan ahead and prioritize”to do” lists…meaning that some things just get left off the list. For example, I may complete report cards but that bulletin board outside my room is saved for another day (even if it is a month old). I set time limits on working afterschool and if my current stressor is school, I go home at 3:30.

Lastly, I try to remember what really brings me joy in the profession and do more of that…that alone helps. Keeping my eyes and ears open for the joy I seek is also helpful.

Ultimately, no matter what you do, times will get tough. It’s okay. Everyone has tough times. It won’t last forever and you still have greatness to share.

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Sugar Plums

The start of a new school year brings a whole host of hopes and dreams that teacher fairy tales are made of. There’s an aura of nervous giddiness and a vision of educational sugar plums dancing in heads and beyond. It truly is phenomenal.

As time goes on, however, sugar plums stop dancing and reality hits. This year, it hit hard and fast.

At first, it was a breath of fresh air. I didn’t seem to have any children who needed more from me than I could give. No one was running around the building, throwing chairs, or hufffing and puffing after being triggered (actually no one was even triggered) and the first week activities I planned were going as planned.

Then all the shoes dropped and a different set of challenges hit. My kids were the noisiest group yet (or pehaps my smaller room accounts for that), more than half are 2 grade levels behind, and focus is a real, for real, issue. Then more children kept getting added to my class. The latest one being a boy I will call Aiden. Aiden’s first reaction to conflict is to fight. He triggers easily, vomits cuss words, and on bad days will scream for literally hours at a time. The class I have has a difficult time handling some of the things he does, some call him out which triggers him more and others try to mimic him and that quite honestly triggers me. I am working on myself in those moments.

Another thing I am working on is trying to avoid some of those really bad, explosive moments. One of the things I put in place to try to help is giving Aiden his own safe space to.go to where he can “get away” but still be in the class. We call it “Aiden’s man cave.” It is a nook in the room with a soft chair and some things he likes where he can go to whenever he chooses. No one else is allowed in unless he requests it and he can get away from other people whenever he needs to. Yesterday, a girl asked me if she could decorate Aiden’s man cave. I told her to ask Aiden and he said yes. We found a good time and she started creating notes and pictures to put up in his space. When other kids saw, they wanted in on it too and before long there was a large group of kids decorating his special space from top to bottom.

I believe that for the first time since Aiden joined our class he felt like he belonged. He had a huge smile and he later told me, “Ms. Dixon, I have lots of friends in here.”

Ya’ll. My heart melted. Sugar plums were dancing.

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No Lemon, No Squeezy.

My hardest year of teaching wasn’t my first or even second year. It is hands-down this year.

This year has been the hardest yet.

I say that every year….and I have been teaching for quite a lot of them now.

It doesn’t matter what the makeup of my class is, how many years I spent in the particular grade I am teaching, my building’s administrator or initiative(s), or even if I got a raise or bonus that year. The fact of the matter is that teaching is hard and living in the moment means that the level of hard is always at the peak.

When I first started I always assumed things would get easier as time ticked by. In some cases, it did. I learned who I was as a teacher, basic pedagogy for the very basics, and how to write a lesson plan. I also learned how to prioritize my to-do list and how to choose my battles.

What I didn’t know though was how much I still had to learn. The truth is that the more I grow and know the farther it seems I have to go. The phrase “know better, do better” means that there is always just so much to do and the urgency is always higher than ever before.

When you add in all the intricacies of the daily teaching world,the obstacles the system places in front of us, the actual needs of every person you are responsible for that year, the ups, downs, and all arounds you experience, and the difficult balance that we all try to achieve between home and work it is easy to see why teaching just isn’t easy. It is labor intensive on an emotional and physical level…and that simply does not subside over time.

The other thing that doesn’t subside is the importance of the job…and important things just aren’t easy.

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Popular Unpopular Opinion: ClearingLists, TPTFunding, blase blah!

Things have gotten out of hand.

Near the end of the summer a movement took social media by storm and let me tell ya, it’s still raining. Hashtag Clear The Lists. Teachers from all over created Amazon wishlists and flooded social media in a frenzy in hopes that family, friends, acquaintances, celebrities, and rich people with a soft spot for education would purchase items they needed for their classrooms.

When I say “teachers”, I am including myself. Once I saw the hashtag trending I created a wishlist with a quickness, wrote a Megatron parody hoping to attract Onika herself (pssst…it didn’t work), and sprinkled my link everywhere that made sense. By the way, although my list wasn’t completely cleared, I got a ton of dope new books that have made a huge impact in my classroom already and I feel very grateful for it.

At a certain point, however, the movement started making me feel a bit squicky. I didn’t like what it had become. What started as a way for teachers to get some things they needed without depleting their own bank account turned into an educators version of “do anything for clout.” I saw a lot of Twitter handles promising to randomly purchase something from someone’s wishlist if they get ____number of followers and retweets. I saw the same handles requiring anyone they purchase for to be a follower or tag someone or something…because it turned into always being something.

In addition, I also saw my feed become saturated with nothing but wishlist links, begging, and in some cases whining and digital temper tantrums. I grew tired. I started unfollowing, muting, and blocking. I vowed to stop promoting my own list (and that is why it is *not* included here). I started to sift through the wreckage in search of real content again.

Slowly, I am finding it.

Then today, as I was scrolling through my feed I was stopped right in my tracks. Hashtag TPT Class Fund. Think #clearthelists but TeachersPayTeachers style.

Before I say what I am about to say, let me go ahead with my disclaimer. Over the years I have purchased plenty from this website. Some resources have been phenomenal, some mediocre, and others terrible.

That said…

TPT is NOT vetted. For every great resource, there are probably 10 mediocre ones and 5 terrible ones. Whenever I am scrolling for something specific, I see a lot of basic old school worksheets decorated with very non-basic fonts, colors, and clipart. I also see text that seems to be all wrong for the grade level it is specified for or even better, one text that says it is designed for multiple grades (think 1st-4th)…yeah…okay.

The worst part about it is that there are a plethora of vetted sites that are absolutely free to use. Free.

For those who argue that they would rather give their money to a regular teacher than a big publisher, I would tend to agree. I would also urge those on that side of the argument to check out some math behind TPT. In short, most teachers aren’t actually making anything substantial from the website.

It is also worthy to note that it appears as though this hashtag was either created or heavily supported by the TPT website itself…a website that is making bank and will likely make even more after this movement. Did I mention there are a plethora of resources that are vetted and free for teachers to use?

In short, I agree that many teachers need more financial support in their classrooms. Most of us have salaries that leave much to be desired and we spend a lot of what little we have on our own classrooms and our students. Although I hate that we are crowdfunding for some basic and even not so basic classroom needs, I understand. But…if we are going to crowdfund I would much prefer we do so as careful consumers. TPT is a resource for occasional, careful consumption…not something to trend on Twitter with a hashtag or tp raise hundreds upon hundreds of dollars from well-meaning folk. Nope, nope, nope. Instead, why don’t we fund rich texts, manipulatives, pencils, technology, or literally anything else?

Also…if we are going to crowdfund, can we somehow do so in a way that doesn’t litter everyone’s timeline…and can we do it without the clout?

Just sayin’.

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13 Lessons Learned

Reflection is key to progression. These are just some of the lessons I learned as a teacher, chronologically:

Year 1: You can’t always get what you want. Literally. I just graduated and was ready to live the dream but no one would interview me, let alone hire me (at the time in my home state of Indiana there were many teachers and minimal jobs). I ended up “teaching kindergarten” in a daycare.

Year 2: Take risks. Be unconventional. Unwilling to continue in a daycare, I decided to apply for teaching jobs nationwide. One weeks later, I was attending my first PD at a school for the arts in NC. That year started with a risk and during my time there I learned about leaps of fate and going for it. That year I put down the basal, dressed up as book characters, did room transformations before I knew that was a thing, sang songs, danced, painted, and even had my second grade students paint a mural on my classroom wall.

Year 3: Sometimes there is no other shoe to be dropped. Good can be good, no catch.

Year 4: TA’s are everything. Period.

Year 5: There is such a thing as too many kids in a class. When that happens, don’t ask for another one. Oh…and this isn’t the movies. The whole year was less than stellar and warrants a post on its own.

Year 6: My life may be falling apart, but I still have a job to do. Oh and when that is falling apart too, you still have to figure out how to survive. It wasn’t at all easy but I made it.

Year 7: It does get better. After experiencing two consecutively tough years as a “veteran,” I needed this year. It came just in time.

Year 8: I can’t “make” anyone do anything. Changing mindsets is a huge weight lifted.

Year 9: Love at first sight is real. I never had such a strong connection with a class so early. Love is not an exaggeration.

Year 10: Looping is the best. I suppose conditions need to be right but in this case, they were.

Year 11: Saying goodbye is hard but necessary. I looped with the same class for 3 years and became very attached. Letting go was hard, it still is when I think about it and see those kids with another teacher, but it was the best thing for them. They are thriving.

Year 12: Don’t take it personal and for the love of everything, check that savior complex. Seriously.

Year 13: It has only just begun! I am sure there are quite a few lessons coming my way…one week in and it seems as though some are already become clear.

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Summer(ary)

I’ve been off my grind for quite a long time, summer is more than halfway done and these are the things I have done:

1. Cleaned the whole house, but its messy again.

2. Went camping, then went again.

3. Went to the museum, over and over and then…

4. Played at the park from noon till the days end.

5. Yardwork, work, work, work, work. Channeling Rihanna because I’ve got to put in

Work.

6. I worked out, sweating from the inside out.

7. Prepped our rental after a terrible tenant moved out!

8. Read a couple books and have more on the way.

9. Visited with my parents who live kinda far away.

10. I didn’t mean to but somehow in my head I started thinking ahead to the start of the school year… reprioritizing priorities and applying things I have read…

But wait.

My child is still not potty trained. I had one job.

…Summer’s not over yet.